In 2018 march 19th, my last birthday with my parents. It was a very happy and special day until I did something miserable and can never forgive myself. I was 6 years old then. I had an elder and only brother named Christian, he was 24 years old and my parent’s names were Leonardo and Tricia. That Sunday morning I was very happy as I finally made it to my 7 year birthday despite the illnesses and adversities I experience growing up. I was a cursed child as many would fondly call me. I scaled through series of ailment and my parents would carry from one hospital to the other. Very soon they settled for the traditional method where they were told to throw me into the evil forest, that I belong to the evil spirit. My parents were told that I am a bad omen, an evil black vulture that is sitting on their roof, sometimes they likened me to a possessed black cat that came to destroy them because I refuse to recover from the deadly ailment that struck me. Each now and then my mum would cry bitterly as she watches my yellow eyes, it is an indication that I will soon die.

My father would toil night and day to raise the huge amount required by the herb’s doctor. My parents were asked to bring a coin with a hole at the center to appease the evil spirit in me to leave, it was the only way I could ever over-power the impending death looming over me. With the faith of my parents and the grace of God I survived. Then, my parents were asked to monitor me, that after three years if I’m still alive then I’m totally healed. Last year was the third year giving to my parents, and they would spend their night and day watching to see how I would finally close my eyes forever. Every day she would sit by my side to cry, “Lilian, I know children are blessings from God, and I know you are a blessing from God. Your elder brother did not kill me, you won’t kill me. Because if you die I will die also. Please just fight this spirit of death” as she cry, innocently I would hold her hands and smile. My smile would mingle with little drops of innocent tears “Mummy why are you crying” I would innocently asked. She would shake her and reply nothing. “It’s ok mum. Stop crying, I will be fine.” I assured her. And truly I was fine.

So today makes it a year after the supposed year of my death and yet it is evident that I have conquered death. Soon my parents surprised me with a birthday cake as breakfast in the morning, although they did not organize a big party because of their financial state. My father was among the staffs that were retrenched in their company. I did not bother because I knew all they’ve been through on my behalf. So later in the afternoon I, Christian, mom and dad were going for a proper celebration as a family, mum surprised us, and so I was very happy. I already planned to share the stay with my friends in school the next day being Monday. First of all my mom ask me where I would love to go and I said spar obviously, in Port Harcourt where we lived, there were lots of fun places so I choose the State spar to start with. At the spar we bought lot of things, chocolates, toys and a lot more. Later on we went to a classic restaurant, the very best in the city for lunch. I was surprised at the way mum is paying for everything, then she said she had been saving up for this day because she believed I won’t die from that sickness. After all the fun and celebration, we were heading back home, I as a little child, still having the fun spirit in me.

While my Dad was driving and my Mom and Christian were busy with their phones. I decides to play a little game with my Dad. I was so stubborn, while he was driving I played a “whose there game” with him by covering his eyes while I was laughing naively. I did it continually and my Dad told me to stop “Stop it Lydia, we are going to have an accident and we all are going to die” he said it to scare me and make me to stop disturbing his driving. I did not listen, perhaps I was enjoying the play, while I was laughing he got distracted and “BOOM!!!” He ran into a tree by the road side, it was a very cruel and serious accident. Someone who witness the accident said the car was destroyed beyond repair. I believed because it wasn’t easy to get my parents out from the car. People from the neighbourhood came out due to the sound they heard and the scream of the man that witness the scene the loud bash of the car on at the tree. He heard the cry of a little girl, immediately he ran towards the car.

He was able to carry me out first through the window, and kept me beside the road on a rock, he called for help but before people would get to the car, the car was already spilling of fuel and it exploded just in time while my dear parents and my only brother Christian where struggling inside the car because they were stocked. I was seven but I could feel their pain, what a gruesome death. I remembered this incident like it was just yesterday. I watched them struggle for their lives with a great strength to come out. I saw my brother crying in pains and stretching his hands for help. My father was crying in frustration as he was unable to safe his family. My mum was screaming because she was leaving me alone in this cruel world. I saw three of them languishing in severe agony. I struggled to car but was withheld by some of the crowd on the scene. Before the fire service would arrive, I saw my parents gradually giving up the fight, their hands became weak, gradually dropping like a weakling. They gave up the ghost. I saw them just lying death like roasted goats, they were roasted, and my parents were roasted like the chicken we just eat a while ago. It was a very sad story because I lost my only family on my birthday.

I blamed myself, I felt guilty after the accident, and I stayed with my aunty in Lagos. I was living in fear and guilt and I concluded myself as a murderer. She change my school and she took me to Surulere Montessori High College, I wasn’t really associating myself with other students in school, because I felt I would endanger their lives. After two years in Surulere Montessori High College, I met this Rondie as he was fondly called. Rondie was a lonely type, he did not really associate himself with people. My aunty would always pick on me saying how bad and wicked I am, she doesn’t support any thing I want to do which makes me really sad. On Monday morning after class, there was this high class group which I once tried to associate myself with but wasn’t possible came to me, they were making fun of me because I was always lonely, singing about my boring life which made me really sad. I ran out the class room, sat at the staircase crying. Suddenly I saw Rondie who was also very sad, he walked up to me and tried to cheer me up, and I felt so happy and comfortable when he was around. Rondie was also going through a tough time at home, his parents were not giving him the attention he needed.

Rondie and I had so much in common and for the first time, I was relieved from a little pain in my heart, our friendship was able to overcome the adversities and hardship we encounter in life. Rondie’s mom wanted him to run his father business being a manager of a reputable company. On the other hand he wanted to be a lawyer. Rondie refused to switch his course which made his dad very furious and angry, his father decided to promptly sliced all ties with Rondie his son, without any financial support. Years later, after we graduated from the university with severe struggling to meet up with campus life and the university demands. We decided to get married against the wish of his parents and my guardian, although it was hard but we were so much in love. I struggled to pay Rondie’s way through Law school with the money I earned working as a private school teacher. After 2 years, Rondie got several job after and takes up a position at a respectable company in Abuja. I was very happy finally we made it through. I decided to move to Abuja with Rondie, so we can settle down and spend more time together rather than working and studying. I and Rondie decided to start having children, after all we are very comfortable and can carter for as many children we could have. But we decided to settle for four children; two boys and two girls. So after 4 years of my continuous trial to conceive and yet futile, I and Rondie were worried and he took me to the hospital. After several tests and diagnosis, the medical expert on our case informed us that I cannot be pregnant because I am suffering from ‘Leukemia’ making it clear that I was going to die.

“I’m sorry, Madam. You have just few days to live. You are going to die, all you need now is to have the best moments you can with your husband, family and friends. Forgive everybody that ever hurt you and move on” he said and left, leaving me and my husband in the most miserable manner. I felt the world crumbling sinking into my chest. I felt drown in the sea of indifference. I saw the grieved in my husband’s face. This is how our happiness was raped and truncated by this sour tale. I urgently needed a bone marrow transplant, but it was very difficult obviously because I killed my family while I was a little girl, due to my playful naivety. I felt it was the reward of what I did in the past, now am I going to die because of my little me. Could this be my own haunting past? I’ve often heard of how people’s past haunts them in the future. I lost hope because normally only a family member can transfer a bone marrow so I gave up, Rondie cried and cried and he said something to me, giving me hope that all was going to be alright. “You’re going to be fine. Trust me I am going to find an end to this” I know he just wanted to give me hope and strength till the last day of my breath. Perhaps the end he meant was the end of my life because I know I will surely die.
I and Rondie tired calling my aunty in so many occasions, finally she picked up her phone as Rondie explained everything that has happen ,obviously  I knew she  did not  care at all. My aunty reply was the most disheartening response on the phone as Rondie called her, “Let her face the consequences of her sins. The witch that killed my only sister. She should face the result of the death she caused my only sister” her voice was very loud on the phone speaker. All she did was to send a little money as a family to me. She was already planning my funeral, because she believed that her God is finally punishing me for my sins. Now  I  know  I only got just Rondie  by my side, only  his words  encourages  me  every  day  just so  I won’t  give up. I will never leave  the guy that  supported me and  never  gave  up  on me. Rondie  swallowed  his pride and tired  calling  his family  who  had already  turned  their backs  on us  especially  Rondie  from  the moment  he  decided  to study  law  against  his father  wish. I  and Rondie  tried  texting  them  everything  that has  happen  and  what  I  am going  through, but  at  the end  it was  very  obvious  that  they  did  no care  at  all .
Finally were left alone, just ourselves, and my sickness was getting serious and critically, and I was becoming more like an alien, perhaps a zombie, my face is getting paled and white has become my skin colour. I started  losing  my hair , skin color , and  my  weight , I was  already   dipping , the doctor  already  inform  Rondie  that  there  was no hope  that maybe,  he should  try and make  me happy for  the  remaining   seven days  of my life on earth with him.  He could not accept the fact that he was going to lose the only woman he loves. After so many blood tests trial and failure to get a compatible bone marrow. I gave up the fight. I started laughing and smiling to things and statement that were never funny. I became happy insanely. Death was visible in my eyes. Then the doctor came out with the good news that they’ve finally found my match and the bad news that it was from a family member. Rondie was very happy. I wasn’t happy because I never had any family anymore, I killed my family years ago. The only one I had left me, despise me, rejected me and allowed me to die in the cold. I will never allow her marrow to give me life because that will be the beginning of my death. I rather die than to live because of my aunty. Perhaps, the marrow could come from her only daughter. Still, I will not risk the life of that innocent girl for my sins.

I’m getting worse by the day, I’m very close to death and just a thin line demarcates us. Rondie is crying and pleading that I undergo the surgery but I won’t. I have grown to hate my aunty, so I refer death than her marrow in me. “This is insane! Look at you… please baby, just for me, just for us. Please do this and make us happy for ever. Or you want to die and leave me all alone in this cruel world?” These word of Rondie really pierced and melt my heart, that’s because he is good at words. I have just three days left before I finally shut my eyes and not to open them again to this cruel and bizarre world. I was happy that finally I’m leaving this world. Rondie was traumatized and confused. First we were unable to get a marrow, and now we have and I don’t want it anything. This thought in Rondie’s head often drives him crazy. And each time he looks at me, I could see his eyes burning as hot tears stream down his chick. I could not withstand the tears of the man I love so much, so I finally agreed to undergo the surgery. Then came the news that my aunty was involve in a ghastly car accident.

I could not breath for some seconds, the air was dirty and sticky to my nostrils. This time I know how she would acclaim the incident to my making, already I’m the witch that killed my own parents. Now, she would say, I want to kill her in the vein with which I killed my parents. Now she will explain how of a witch I am. All these thought peruse my mind and I could not rest. I just have a day to go and now I don’t want to die anymore. After all my sufferings with Rondie, ensuring he graduated from school and become meaningful? I can’t allow another enjoy the fruit of my labour. Rondie is my labour, now the fruit is ripe, they want to kill the farmer. These thoughts gave me the spirit to live on, gave the will to fight for life and here is the only source of my life battling for her life. They came with the news that my aunty is willing to undergo the surgery if I will also undergo the surgery. But then, one of us will not make it alive. “Please try and take care of Princess my daughter, when I die” my aunty said as pleads with me. We are in the theatre for surgery, tears keeps rolling down her eyes because she was convinced she is going to die because of her critical conditions but she never knew I’ve got just 3 hours to live and kiss the world good bye.

The surgery was the worst ever witnessed in the hospital with critical and more complicated issues as the doctors progresses. I was so scared I wouldn’t make it. At first there was a serious complication in the surgery room while Rondie on the other side in confusion was just walking in the hallway with tears in his eyes. After 3 hours the doctor came out and shared the news with Rondie. Rondie could decipher the look on the doctor’s face but then, I made it and I was okay but. He was very happy, he came to see me in the room and we were both happy. But my aunty, I couldn’t believe she could willingly sacrifice her life for me despite the hates she feels for me. Perhaps love conquers all. She also survive but will be staying longer in the hospital. 3 years later I was pregnant and I gave birth to twins; a boy and a girl and we lived happily ever after.

By penhouse

Jaja Godspower is a creative thinker and business strategist. He an award winning writer, blogger, author and a film maker from Nigeria. He is motivated with the desire to grow brands and businesses through adequate branding and visibility with his writing expertise. He is the founder of Penhouse Initiative, one of the largest growing writing hub in Africa.

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